You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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