It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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