Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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