i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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