Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
