We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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