Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize