i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
