Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
