You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
