i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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