I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
