i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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