after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize