Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
