so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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