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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
