Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
