ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
