I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
