**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
