Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
