Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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