Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
