All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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