Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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