Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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