Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
