i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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