i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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