you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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