There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
