Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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