yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
