She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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