guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
honey bunches of taint.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
