i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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