I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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