he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We have started to decorate penises.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
