It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
