dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
