some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
