Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
