is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
COCAINE IS GR8
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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