Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
