is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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