Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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