from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
