so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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