after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
