Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
