Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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