You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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