Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
