i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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