Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
