Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
