Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
