You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
