Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
