Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
