I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
worst night to have a conscience
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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