im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
