Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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