The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
