so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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