ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
