dude i'm inner monologue high
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
