I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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